What Are You Welcoming Into Your Life?

These days I'm welcoming three things into my life: change, peace and joy! That's all I really want right now considering it is very easy to get caught up in this crazy world.

I welcome change/transformation because it is opportunity for me to reinvent myself, push myself beyond my comfort limits and explore new things that I wouldn't necessarily experience on my own.

I welcome peace because it has always been a long standing need in my life. I've never been a drama-filled person nor do I want to start so I've learned separating myself from people, places or things that might trigger a negative reaction to be the best remedy. Don't mistaken my silence for being meek though, it's just that I've learned everything doesn't require an opinion or comment.  

I welcome joy because I truly have so much to be thankful for and I don't want to take that for granted. Even in the midst of challenges, fears and set backs, I've learned the best medicine is maintaining joy (and laughter) in your heart at all times! It's all working out for the greater good anyway :)

What are you welcoming into you life these days?

Awareness Begins With YOU!

October is here and there are two awareness campaigns that I hold close to my heart: 1) Breast Cancer Awareness and 2) Domestic Violence Awareness. While they each have their own purpose, they both share the same end goal--to save lives!

There is so much information out there to get more details about these two awareness campaigns but for the sake of my blog, I'd like to highlight three important things that speak to both issues: 

1) Educate yourself and others. It's 2014 and there is no excuse to not be knowledgeable about these two topics. Nowadays, most people have a smartphone or at least some kind of access to a computer so take some time to learn about both. Then, share what you learned with others so we all can be a more informed community. Reach one, teach one! 

2) See something, SAY something! YOU know your loved ones, coworkers and friends the best. If you see something out of the ordinary, suspect that something is wrong with them physically or they come to you about their issue privately, help them! No matter what be there by their side every step of the way. Early detection (whether it be in breast cancer or first-sign of abuse) can save their life. 

3) Be the change. In order to fight for both causes, YOU have to spark the change. Prevention begins with you and you should feel empowered enough to go out and help others who may be unable to speak up for themselves or lack the support or courage to stand strong. We all have a special light that's worth shining in this world and don't ever let a person or health circumstance, try to dim that light. Shine on and be great!

For more information about Breast Cancer Awareness, visit National Breast Cancer Foundation.

For more information about Domestic Violence, visit The National Domestic Violence Hotline. 

10 Countries I Would Love to Visit

(In no particular order)

It's so hard to pick JUST 10 because if I had it my way, I would take a year off to explore the world and blog about my experience! For now, here are some places that I think I can could realistically hit in the next couple of years: 

1) Brazil

2) Italy

3) Japan

4) Thailand

5) United Kingdom (I would totally relocate to London in a heart beat)

6) Germany

7) Ghana 

8) Greece

9) Australia

10) Argentina

Maybe taking a year off to travel the world isn't a bad idea! It's not everyday you meant a woman of color who explores the world and journals about her experiences. Hmmmm....

Photo Courtesy of Flickr.com/By Jason Bachman

Do You Have Regrets?

 Sometimes I catch myself thinking about what would life be like if we all had a reset button...would you push it? Most of us have heard the saying that "we should live life without regrets" for things we've done in our past but do you have any regrets in your life? I can honestly say that I don't have a single regret about anything I've done or the people who played a part in it! NOPE. I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason because we are all learning from our experiences (good,bad, or in between) in order to be the person who we were created to be in the world.

Granted, there maybe things you think about time to time you wish you would have done differently but that would have disrupted your destiny of where you are today or it could have changed it entirely. All we can do now is seize opportunities everyday to live the life we desire. Living life without apology for the choices you made/make is the BEST feeling! It's liberating actually so don't dwell on things you can't change, just look to the sun and claim this day to be great.

Photo Courtesy of Flickr.com/By ahhhllicia

Seasons are Changing

 In my twenty-something years of life, I have learned that relationships/friendships come and go. I’ve always correlated this closely with my faith because I believe that we live in seasons throughout our life. As the good book says, “to everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven” (Eccle. 3) and as I grow older and wiser, I believe this to be true in many facets of my life. In particular, I’ve experienced a small shift in my friendships. I’ve seen people come and go and while it’s not always easy to cope with the change, I believe it’s necessary to take us to the next level in our lives.

 Sometimes it isn’t clear to us when these changes occur but they always seem to happen at the right time. In my heart of heart of hearts, it takes too much energy to be combative, instead, I choose to smile through it (or distance myself) and cherish the ones who have never left my side. Whatever the case maybe, spend your time being happy with those who care about you and who desire to be a part of your life because after all, (outside of family) your friends are some of the people you fall back on in times of need.

At the end of the day, life is too short so choose to live it up with some of the people you love most and create awesome memories!

P.S. Fall is my absolute favorite season!

Photo Courtesy of Flickr.com/By JustyCInMD

Something on My Heart

I never said I was a perfect person nor do I want to be (I don't need extra pressure...thanks!). In fact, I can openly admit that I'm not always the greatest person to myself or others but I'm really not here to make this post a pity party. Instead, I'd like to think of it as me opening up my heart for a moment to just accept what I cannot change and learn from my mistakes. My pride at times gets the best of me (headstrong Capricorn here) and sometimes it has a tendency to clutter my thoughts, my actions and even my choices in life. Because I am aware of this issue, it's times like these where I feel the need to come clean for my own sanity and tonight, I had a break through!

It's true what they say, you never know what you had until it's gone! However, if it's meant to be then it will find it's way back to you. In particular, when you've met someone or built a friendship with someone who has tugged on one of your heart strings, it's hard to forget those types of people. In fact, it is said you should work very hard to maintain that relationship. However, it can be challenging at times when someone you care about becomes influenced by others around them (without them knowing most of the time) or lost in sauce of life but somehow you have to fight for those relationships. Even if you have to put a little distance between you and the other person, it's okay to just love on them from a far.

One thing I've learned is people may forget what you said, people may forget what you did but they will never EVER forget how you made them FEEL! This has got to be one of the truest lessons I've learned so far in my adulthood. The only way you can make a sour relationship sweet again is by taking that first step to reverse how you made that person feel (and this takes time!).

No one said life would be easy! Everyday that we wake up is a new opportunity to set the record straight. As long as you make the time, then anything is possible. Life is short y'all, so choose to LIVE ALWAYS!  Xo

Re-evaluating Your Circle

We’ve all heard the saying, “keep your friends close but your enemies closer” but in today’s world, I find that when you keep enemies closer they tend to pollute your space. I’ve never been a fan of drama or “crowds” of people around me, in fact, I believe that most of us misconstrue the definition of true friendship vs. acquaintances. 

There is nothing wrong with having both, in fact, I believe you should but at some point you have to discern who’s who in your life equation. Friendships add value to your life, acquaintances add value to your network. It’s simple life math really but yet the lines get blurred sometimes and that can cause confusion. 

But who says you can’t have more than one circle? Social media has shown us you CAN have several circles operating at once but you have to mindful of boundaries. Your true friends will always show their selves true in the hardest and happiest situations while acquaintances assume their role as sporadic contributors to your life. 

The other day, I had a conversation with a really great friend of mine about friendships and how we both have witnessed and experienced shifts in our relationships with people. While it is never easy to come to grips with that some people are being "removed" or "growing out" of your life, it doesn't necessarily mean it's a bad thing either. In order to get where you are going, it sometimes requires getting rid of dead weight- you could even be dead weight to someone else life as well. Sometimes taking a step back from situation can reveal a lot about a person and yourself! If' it's meant to be, it will be.

What in the World?

I have a lot of things on my mind but I'll try to keep this post brief! The world has officially gone NUTS! It feels like I can never turn on the TV or view my social media platforms without SOMETHING insane going on in the world. What the world needs right now is not only LOVE but most of all PRAYER. Oh the days ahead look so dark but I refuse to fall in it's shadow. At this point in our lives, we all really need to do better. Accountability is everything and while we may fall short sometimes, we have to TRY to do better. Yard by yard, it's hard but inch by inch it's a sinch!

Even if you think you can't do anything, YOU CAN! We are all have gifts inside of us (some are undiscovered) but we we all have purpose. I'm not trying to preach (well maybe I am just a bit) but each day we wake up in the morning we should be grateful we are getting another chance at life. Tomorrow is never promised to us, so we have to LIVE out our lives the best way we can. How are you living today?

Creative Inspiration Fun

 

  I'm not sure where this jolt of inspiration came from but it could be from my latest travels. Whenever I'm away and playing, I always seem to get a burst of energy to do something more. With that said, I've had quite a few personal projects/ideas pop in my mind that I want to sincerely explore. The hardest part is always figuring out where to begin but I feel strongly about giving these ideas a chance.  Trusting the process of creativity can seem terrifying at first but usually something beautiful is learned through the experience.

Most will agree that fear, uncertainty, or even our own self can hold us back from realized dreams. Don't let anything discourage you! Let's go be GREAT together Xo

Photo Courtesy of Flickr.com/By WideEyedIlluminations

Why First Impressions Matter

When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.-Maya Angelou

I love great quotes but this one by renowned poet and author, Maya Angelo, strikes a huge chord with me. Anytime I meet a new person for the first time, I give them a chance to get to know them. Based on that first meeting, it sets the tone of where things go from here. If the introduction was a fail, then 9 times out of 10 that's a wrap for me but if it was ok, then we'll proceed accordingly.

At the end of the day, I've got to stay true to myself at all times and it wouldn't be genuine of me to pursue a relationship with someone if I didn't feel right about it. I CAN be cordial to anyone even float in the same airspace too but it doesn't mean I have to associate myself with them. Sorry not sorry!

First impressions are everything from the workplace to social life to the dating world. You can hit or miss in a matter of minutes so it's imperative you make the first time count. Even if things didn't go over well the first time, second chances are possible but I'll stick to Ms. Angelou's wisdom.

How important are first impressions to you?

Ban Bossy...Will you join the movement?

In honor of Women's Month, I'd like to share new and happening things that pertain to women news. Today, I stumbled upon the #BanBossy campaign that I thought was so great that I had to share in case you all haven't heard about it.

The campaign is being organized by Lean In and Girl Scouts of America which focuses on banishing the negative stigma that is attached to young girls who assert themselves as leaders. According to the Ban Bossy website, "when a little boy assert himself, he is deemed a leader but when a little girl does it, she's deemed bossy." See the negativity? The campaign aims to break this stigma and boost the self-esteem of young girls and women to embrace being a BOSS! The world needs more women leaders because we are still underrepresented in many facets of the world and it begins with our youth!

To help further the campaign's efforts, they've wrangled in some powerful women who lead the charge in banning the term "bossy." Check out this quick snippet:

For more information about the #BanBossy campaign, click here! Be apart of the change. 

College Taught Me...

"To find a way or make one"! Seriously, that is our school's motto and I continue to apply this in my everyday living. I've always had an ambitious spirit but my alma mater reinforced the importance of NEVER accepting NO as an answer. Even when doors (maybe even windows) continue to close in your face, you have to be steadfast in knowing that the gifts, talents and abilities that you have inside of you is all you need to get a "YES" answer.

Believe me I've had my fair share of hardships which I'm sure all of us can relate to but just because it is a "NO" to that way, it doesn't mean you won't find your OWN way. It's about pushing the envelope, breaking glass ceilings, moving outside of your comfort zone to make your way happen! Whether the world is ready for you or not, our time on Earth is precious so we have to make it count and sometimes it takes making a new way to spark change. The words will forever be inscribed on my heart because I find these words truly encouraging when I'm having a bad day or if I just need a boost of motivation. College taught me many other things as well but I'm not going to bore you guys with a dissertation! LOL

Thank you CAU! Xo

What has college taught you all?

P.S. This post means more to me than ever right now! I certainly needed to post this today considering I'm having a rough day but this is the boost I needed. :) So many positive confirmations are coming in different forms today and it reminds me that everything is going to be okay...trusting the process.

A time I want to experience again...

College! I would only want to go back for like a week though (LOL can't hang like I use to!) but if I had a chance to do it all over again, I would! Going to college was one of the best decisions I ever made in my twenty-something years of life. I learned so much about myself during this time, made some awesome lifetime friends and created tons of memories.

I'm glad my school chose me to attend because I felt so lucky to be apart of an illustrious academic community. If I had to sum up my college experience in one word it would be "amazing."

If you could go back in time to a certain experience what would it be and why?

Photo Courtesy of Flickr.com/By Tax Credits

Goodbye 2013, Hello 2014

Time has certainly flown by in 2013! This year had to be one of the most challenging, game-changing years of my life so far but Lawd, I’m thankful for the journey and growth. If I had to describe this last year in one word, it would be the year of a CRAZY. Professionally and personally, it’s been an emotional roller coaster ride that could easily break the weak at heart---but I didn’t break, I just had to learn how to bend. The lesson I learned was to run to the THRONE and not the phone. My spiritual life has increased immensely and I realize while I’m far from perfect, I’m perfectly imperfect in his eyes and for that, He STILL loves me!   

While this hasn’t been my easiest year, there have certainly been some amazing highlights that have truly soothed the crazy ride.  I became a new auntie again (Hey to my babies, Meatball and Mir-Mir!), new big cousin (Hey baby, Troy!), and one of my most gratifying moments was when I became a GODMOTHER this year (Hey baby G!). I saw some new places, met some new faces, and reconnected with old friends, what a treat!

With all this good, there was some good-byes too, anddd I had to cut off a couple of people…BYE FELICIA! LOL Lessons were learned, true colors were revealed, and I haven’t looked back since yay me! I’m just trying to live a shade-free life…that’s all. Can I get an Amen?

My support system has been nothing short of AMAZING and I just want to thank all of my family and friends who have truly been down for the ride. To my family, thank you for loving me through it all. Even on my worst days, you remind me that my best days outweigh it all. Your overflow of love, support, prayers and encouragement continue to shape and mold me into the woman I am today. THANK YOU!! 

To my JBCrew, we’ve been A 1 since DAY ONE and thank God for bringing us all together. REAL FRIENDS are hard to come by but LIFETIME SISTER FRIENDS are rare! I am EXTRA LUCKY God blessed me with BOTH AT THE SAME TIME because this journey just wouldn’t have be the same without you all. THANK YOU for being there and loving me through every trip, every stumble and every fall LOL.

And on that note, I am so excited for what the future holds for me and mine, you know why? Because I KNOW WHO HOLDS IT! He does! Won’t He…you know the rest! *praise break*

Welcome, 2014! Let’s work! *twirls and throws glitter*

P.S. New posts coming next week! Just wait on it :)

Photo courtesy of Flickr.com/By Teresa

Try Again...

I felt compelled to write a quick post about being persistent in something you want. No one likes to fail nor does anyone want to admit they fail at things but it doesn't have to define you. In fact, it should do the exact opposite and encourage you to try again! I once heard that there is "power in persistence" and if you believe within your heart that it is something you want, then don't stop till it's yours. Our time is precious on Earth and you have to make the most of every opportunity, no matter how big or small it is. If you live a life fearing to fail, then you'll never know your full potential. There is actually a lot of good in failing because it teaches us how to learn from the experience and to grow from it. That's what life is about! So if you are feeling kind of blue, I hope this post perks you up! Just know you are not alone :) Confront your fears, you can do it!

On a personal note, I was feeling like this today but the first song that came to mind was from the late R&B artist Aaliyah, "Try Again." Aaliyah is still one of my favorite singers and I hope this song uplifts you like it did me.

Dating a Friend’s Family Member

When it comes to dating, they say you should “cast out a wide net for options;” however, what do you do when that “net” happens to catch the eye of your friend’s family member (in this case a sibling)? This can be tricky and from personal experience it is best that you approach this situation with EXTREME caution. Whether you are the person pursuing or your friend’s family member is trying to pursue you, both of you should talk about it to see if this is something you both really want (if all you or they want is a fling, don’t risk it!).  

Surprisingly, it isn’t unusual for a sibling of your friend(s) to try to talk to you that level because you are around them often and over time, the attraction grows (it just happens sometimes!). In my own personal experience, I tried to be open to a situation like this but deep down inside I never felt comfortable with it and at the end of the day, I had to be true to myself and my feelings-- the spark just didn’t exist! 

The good thing is my situation didn’t get deep but I’ve heard worse stories of where people tried to date their friend’s sibling and till this day have lost not only a relationship but a friendship at the same damn time! The best thing you can do is to try to keep your friendship with your friend SEPARATE from your relationship with their family member.  As much as you want to confide in your friend about things, it could bring on stress for them because they may feel like they’re in the “middle” and that’s never a good feeling.

Now don’t get me wrong! I’ve also heard positive love connections from dating a friend’s sibling but that’s because deep down inside they BOTH wanted it and the intentions were pure & genuine.

Whatever you decide, just make sure it’s really what you want! If your gut tells you otherwise, listen to it. There is always other fish in the sea!

Photo Courtesy of Flickr.com/By Hathuyana

Survival Guide for Being Alone on the Holidays

This time of year can bring a mixed bag of emotions for people especially when you are single for the holidays. BUT do not fret! Make the most of your alone time by doing wonderful and marvelous things for yourself and with those around you:

1. Buy yourself gifts -Did you have your eye on those shoes? Or that new smartphone? The benefit of not having to show for someone you are with is you can spend more on others around you or yourself.
2. Hang out with friends/family-Organize a game nights or a fun wine tasting at your home this winter season. It’s hard enough to go out when it’s cold but arranging mini-entertainment events here-and-there will help the time go by. Who knows? You still could meet someone new at a gathering!
3. Try something new- Have you been meaning to take a dance class, learn a new language or cooking class for fun? Go! The key to keeping the lonely blues out of your system is to keep yourself busy. Joining a gym or taking up a specialty class can bring lots of excitement and you will begin to meet new people in the process.
4. Plan a trip- Even if you are the most traveled person in the world, there is always fun in getting away somewhere! Stretch yourself and go outside your comfort zone to explore a new place. If you can organize a trip with your closest friends, that’s always a sure pick me up. Even if you can’t wrangle everyone together, try going somewhere solo. It’s nice to spend some time alone to regroup mentally. 
5. Stop procrastinating on that “thing” you need to do- Whether it is getting a certification for a job, working out or filling out applications to get back in school, GO! This is the perfect time to work on you so that when the timing is right, you will have YOU together.  You have no one distracting you so you should go for it! Aim high!
6. Get a head start in setting new goals for the new year- Make the goals realistic and attainable too! A good way to organize your thoughts is start making a vision board for the things you see yourself attaining in the near future. 

Photo Courtesy of Flickr.com/By Kris Scott

What would you do if you weren't afraid?

 If I wasn't afraid I would:

• Move to ______ now! 
• Travel around the world on my own (something like an Eat.Pray.Love. voyage)
• Work for myself...eventually (not sure what I would specialize in yet!)
• Color & cut my hair (the setback-  bad hair experiences with "professional" stylist) 

Photo Courtesy of Flickr.com/By TMarie

Twenty-Something Struggle: When to Go to Grad School?

Deciding when to go back to school is becoming a common conversation among my twenty-something peers. There are some who continued straight out of undergrad but there are some of us who strayed away and now are considering grad life buttt…when is the right time to go?

There is so much to think about like where do you want to go?, how are you going to afford it?, does your program require a GRE or GMAT? Or the biggest question of them all what do you want to study? So much time, money, preparation and focus is required to make this decision but still some of us are just lost! I’ve heard horror stories of folks just going back just to say they are in school but by mid-semester they are dreaded making an impulsive decision (and dreading the new loan they tagged on). Sigh…

I believe that deciding to go back to school isn’t a “one-size fits all” solution to everyone’s career goal. In some cases, you might find that getting a certificate is all you need to advance yourself in your industry while maybe a Masters is better suited for you—it just depends. The question of “when” is still a challenging one to answer (this is my current struggle).  If you are like me and have been working in the real-world for some time now, the thought might have crossed your mind more than once but still no luck in deciding when to go.

So here is some advice that I've either read or received from friends who have done this already or are in progress of pursing grad school:

1. Have a “come to Jesus” session!- Spend some time figuring out your life plan. Write it out or create a vision board of what you see yourself accomplishing in years to come. It’s not a perfect plan but once you “make your vision plain” it helps you see a bit clearer to organize a strategy to achieve your goals.  Then, pray about it!
2. Research makes your dreams work!- It’s never too early to begin research, ask questions, attend grad fairs or plan visits with schools to get your motivation going. After talking to some admission counselors or current students, this might help you make some decisions about your future education.  Also, if you know early that any of these schools might require an exam to enter then this is your opportunity to start preparing for this as well.
3. Confide in your family and friends for support-Sometimes you just need a listening ear to help you think through your plan. Your support system always wants what is best for you and they do want to see you reach your full potential so you can count on them for advice, prayer and support.
4. Do what is best for you!-Sometimes as a twenty-something we feel the pressure to be something that isn’t always what we agree with for ourselves. Stay true to yourself! If you aren’t ready for school, THAT IS OK! At the end of the day, live your life and do what makes YOU happy!

Photo Courtesy Flickr.com/By Tax Credits

I’m participating in National Blog Post Month

I live for challenges especially when it involves creativity! Since I’m a writer/blogger at heart, it’s only right that I participate in such an exciting opportunity to push myself by posting a new entry every day for the month of November.

You’ll notice my new badge (check my side bar at the bottom) which officially locks me in for the National Blog Post Month whoo hoo! This is my first year participating so that alone makes it more exciting.

It may seem like a daunting task to some but for me, I think this is the impetus that I need to take my blog to new heights. 

While there are some amazing prizes up for grabs each week—win or lose—I still think the experience alone is rewarding. I’m counting my lucky stars and pulling out all the stops to see how much I can crank out this whole month.

Watch me work! #NaBloPoMo