Wishes for 2015

I love the New Year for two reasons: 1) looking forward to new beginnings and memories and 2) it's my birthday celebration (*throws glitter everywhere*). The year 2014 had highs and lows but I wouldn't trade the year for anything! If I had to describe 2014 in one word it would be transparency. I say this because it was definitely a year where a lot of things came to the forefront that I didn't expect but I felt like it needed to happen.From my work- life balance to world issues to personal relationships, I noticed I made some people and things in my life more of a priority than myself. I believe this is one my Achilles Heels because I'm known for always putting myself last on the list but that's changing for 2015, I'm learning to put myself first for a change. I'm responsible for my own happiness, no one else! I'm also responsible for maintaining a sense of peace in my life that can only be experienced through God and so my faith level has increased immensely!

With that said, I've always been a private person but more than ever, I work extra hard to keep it that way because that's apart of living a peaceful life. Social media can easily confuse people into believing they have a right into your life based on what you post but remember folks, don't believe everything you see, hear or read (Journalism 101). We live in a world where perception is everything and a lot of people make assumptions about who you are based on what you do and say so I learned a long time ago to not feed into it. To this day, only a close circle of friends and family will ever know the matters of my heart...period. If you don't know what's going on, than it's safe to KNOW you aren't in that circle! #Sorrynotsorry Plus, I've been burned before with people sharing my business or my dreams with outside people and I didn't appreciate it! There are just somethings that I'm never going to bend on and privacy will always be one.

Also, we've all experienced so much division going on in the world today due to socioeconomic differences, gender/sexuality inequality and racial injustices(there are NOT new subjects) etc. but  more than ever these issues are being brought into the light as they should. Unfortunately, most of these issues are only deemed important when there is lots of bloodshed involved but like the news says, "blood always leads." These recent events have called a lot into question about the fate of our world, our political systems but most of all US. However, I'm confident we can turn all of this around because in the end we all want peace, love and happiness in the end right?

In order to be a better world, we have to be BETTER people! We've got to be held accountable for our actions and we also have to be on the same page for change. This process won't happen overnight but we are all here on assignment (whether you know that or not) so it is time to answer the call! It's exciting to see people from all walks of life fired up for change and I believe it's possible if everyone remains level-headed in the process. We are merely scratching the surface on a lot of these deeply rooted issues folks, but if we are consistent in our message and actions than I do believe change will  happen. Trust the process everyone....

For 2015, I look forward to expanding my territory in all aspects of my life personally, professionally, financially, emotionally and spiritually. Honestly, I do want world peace! It may sound cheesy but we seriously need peace in this world. I'm also looking forward to creating new memories with my sweet friends and family. That's all I really want in life! I feel nothing but great vibes for 2015 and I receive whatever God has for me next year because I know it's all apart of His greater plan for my life.

Happy New Year Everyone! Xo

The “American Dream” Feels more like a Nightmare

I never thought in my twenty-something years of life that I would witness so much division in my own country. This has made me feel all types of emotions: angry, disgusted, sad, and confused. Each day it gets harder to face the world with a smile knowing deep down inside, you’re fearful if this could be the day that you’ll take your last breath.

You wake up in the morning knowing in the back of your mind that there are some people in this world who resent you for the way you look, the color of your skin, the way your dressed, your sexual preference, your religious denomination etc. and each day, you’re supposed to carry on without apology for who you are but it is SO HARD y’all.

Today, I was apprehensive of writing this on my blog because I’d like to think of my blog as light-hearted and safe place to reflect on matters that mean something to me and I find this matter to be extremely personal to me. In particular, I am an educated Black woman who understands how hard it is to live and earn the respect of others in this country. Being Black in America is not easy because in OUR world (yes, there are two worlds), I’m considered to already have three strikes against me: 1) Being educated 2) being Black and 3) being a woman—therefore, I’m not only seen as inferior but I’m threat.

This is because society already had a preconceived future planned for me when my mother birthed me into the world. There was already statistical data and a stereotype placed on me before I could even walk or talk and it’s sad, this still exist today. Today, I feel like the “American Dream” feels more like a never-ending nightmare that I can’t wake up from. Then again, I’m not even sure if people like me were even considered a part of that dream in the first place.

It’s troubling to know that for years the justice systems and law enforcement that was designed to “protect and serve the people” or promote “justice for all” have become corrupt and unstable. How can people like me put their trust in the law when it doesn’t serve ALL people?

You can’t put your trust in mankind because we are all flawed. Instead, I’ve chosen to put my trust in God! He’s the only one that has remained steadfast in His love for ALL people and He is the only one I can lean on times of strife. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve made a commitment to put my faith FIRST and keep my opinions/emotions last. But don’t get it twisted, it’s hard every day to hold your peace but I’m doing the best that I can in this quick sand of turmoil. I have to believe in something and if I can’t always believe in myself every day, then I have to put all my trust in God. He is the only way!

I say all of this to say that we’ve got to band together for change! It’s no excuse that it is 2014 and it feels like we are reliving the 50s and 60s!! We’ve got to do better and it begins with each of us because we are all accountable for how this country operates. If you are a registered voter and a tax payer, you should be actively exercising this right anytime there is a state or local election…period. Everyone seems to come out for the Presidential elections but not enough of us are showing up to local/state polls where it equally matters! And to those who believe that voting isn’t going to change anything, think about running for office in your locality/state! If you don’t like the way something is being done than be the change! We all play a part in this so find your voice and exercise it (peacefully!). Protests and boycotts are great too but the real work happens on the Hill. 

We’ve come this far by faith; let us not grow weary in this fight for equality for all guys.

Stay prayed up people! Xo

Cheers to the Final Stretch!

First and foremost, I'm proud to say that I completed #NaBloPoMo successfully! It wasn't an easy task but I DID IT! This exercise reaffirms that when I put my mind to something, then I can do anything. In case you missed my #NaBloPoMo journey, check out my labels to the right of this post to catch up on all of my post for the month of November.

What's more exciting is that we are in our final month of 2014! I can't believe how fast time as flown by. It just goes to show you that our time is limited and we should spend our time wisely with those who cherish us but most all of all, making memories of our life.

I'm so excited for 2015 because I have really great vibes about it and I'm already claiming happiness, peace, prosperity, (MORE) love, and excitement for the incoming year. For now, I'm going to make the most memories out of December! It's crazy but I already have a full schedule (till mid-Jan) that involves quite a bit of traveling and I'm soooooo here for it.

We are in the final stretch folks so let's make the most out of our final days in 2014! It's GO time :)

What Are You Welcoming Into Your Life?

These days I'm welcoming three things into my life: change, peace and joy! That's all I really want right now considering it is very easy to get caught up in this crazy world.

I welcome change/transformation because it is opportunity for me to reinvent myself, push myself beyond my comfort limits and explore new things that I wouldn't necessarily experience on my own.

I welcome peace because it has always been a long standing need in my life. I've never been a drama-filled person nor do I want to start so I've learned separating myself from people, places or things that might trigger a negative reaction to be the best remedy. Don't mistaken my silence for being meek though, it's just that I've learned everything doesn't require an opinion or comment.  

I welcome joy because I truly have so much to be thankful for and I don't want to take that for granted. Even in the midst of challenges, fears and set backs, I've learned the best medicine is maintaining joy (and laughter) in your heart at all times! It's all working out for the greater good anyway :)

What are you welcoming into you life these days?

Awareness Begins With YOU!

October is here and there are two awareness campaigns that I hold close to my heart: 1) Breast Cancer Awareness and 2) Domestic Violence Awareness. While they each have their own purpose, they both share the same end goal--to save lives!

There is so much information out there to get more details about these two awareness campaigns but for the sake of my blog, I'd like to highlight three important things that speak to both issues: 

1) Educate yourself and others. It's 2014 and there is no excuse to not be knowledgeable about these two topics. Nowadays, most people have a smartphone or at least some kind of access to a computer so take some time to learn about both. Then, share what you learned with others so we all can be a more informed community. Reach one, teach one! 

2) See something, SAY something! YOU know your loved ones, coworkers and friends the best. If you see something out of the ordinary, suspect that something is wrong with them physically or they come to you about their issue privately, help them! No matter what be there by their side every step of the way. Early detection (whether it be in breast cancer or first-sign of abuse) can save their life. 

3) Be the change. In order to fight for both causes, YOU have to spark the change. Prevention begins with you and you should feel empowered enough to go out and help others who may be unable to speak up for themselves or lack the support or courage to stand strong. We all have a special light that's worth shining in this world and don't ever let a person or health circumstance, try to dim that light. Shine on and be great!

For more information about Breast Cancer Awareness, visit National Breast Cancer Foundation.

For more information about Domestic Violence, visit The National Domestic Violence Hotline. 

10 Countries I Would Love to Visit

(In no particular order)

It's so hard to pick JUST 10 because if I had it my way, I would take a year off to explore the world and blog about my experience! For now, here are some places that I think I can could realistically hit in the next couple of years: 

1) Brazil

2) Italy

3) Japan

4) Thailand

5) United Kingdom (I would totally relocate to London in a heart beat)

6) Germany

7) Ghana 

8) Greece

9) Australia

10) Argentina

Maybe taking a year off to travel the world isn't a bad idea! It's not everyday you meant a woman of color who explores the world and journals about her experiences. Hmmmm....

Photo Courtesy of Flickr.com/By Jason Bachman

Do You Have Regrets?

 Sometimes I catch myself thinking about what would life be like if we all had a reset button...would you push it? Most of us have heard the saying that "we should live life without regrets" for things we've done in our past but do you have any regrets in your life? I can honestly say that I don't have a single regret about anything I've done or the people who played a part in it! NOPE. I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason because we are all learning from our experiences (good,bad, or in between) in order to be the person who we were created to be in the world.

Granted, there maybe things you think about time to time you wish you would have done differently but that would have disrupted your destiny of where you are today or it could have changed it entirely. All we can do now is seize opportunities everyday to live the life we desire. Living life without apology for the choices you made/make is the BEST feeling! It's liberating actually so don't dwell on things you can't change, just look to the sun and claim this day to be great.

Photo Courtesy of Flickr.com/By ahhhllicia

Seasons are Changing

 In my twenty-something years of life, I have learned that relationships/friendships come and go. I’ve always correlated this closely with my faith because I believe that we live in seasons throughout our life. As the good book says, “to everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven” (Eccle. 3) and as I grow older and wiser, I believe this to be true in many facets of my life. In particular, I’ve experienced a small shift in my friendships. I’ve seen people come and go and while it’s not always easy to cope with the change, I believe it’s necessary to take us to the next level in our lives.

 Sometimes it isn’t clear to us when these changes occur but they always seem to happen at the right time. In my heart of heart of hearts, it takes too much energy to be combative, instead, I choose to smile through it (or distance myself) and cherish the ones who have never left my side. Whatever the case maybe, spend your time being happy with those who care about you and who desire to be a part of your life because after all, (outside of family) your friends are some of the people you fall back on in times of need.

At the end of the day, life is too short so choose to live it up with some of the people you love most and create awesome memories!

P.S. Fall is my absolute favorite season!

Photo Courtesy of Flickr.com/By JustyCInMD

Re-evaluating Your Circle

We’ve all heard the saying, “keep your friends close but your enemies closer” but in today’s world, I find that when you keep enemies closer they tend to pollute your space. I’ve never been a fan of drama or “crowds” of people around me, in fact, I believe that most of us misconstrue the definition of true friendship vs. acquaintances. 

There is nothing wrong with having both, in fact, I believe you should but at some point you have to discern who’s who in your life equation. Friendships add value to your life, acquaintances add value to your network. It’s simple life math really but yet the lines get blurred sometimes and that can cause confusion. 

But who says you can’t have more than one circle? Social media has shown us you CAN have several circles operating at once but you have to mindful of boundaries. Your true friends will always show their selves true in the hardest and happiest situations while acquaintances assume their role as sporadic contributors to your life. 

The other day, I had a conversation with a really great friend of mine about friendships and how we both have witnessed and experienced shifts in our relationships with people. While it is never easy to come to grips with that some people are being "removed" or "growing out" of your life, it doesn't necessarily mean it's a bad thing either. In order to get where you are going, it sometimes requires getting rid of dead weight- you could even be dead weight to someone else life as well. Sometimes taking a step back from situation can reveal a lot about a person and yourself! If' it's meant to be, it will be.

Creative Inspiration Fun

 

  I'm not sure where this jolt of inspiration came from but it could be from my latest travels. Whenever I'm away and playing, I always seem to get a burst of energy to do something more. With that said, I've had quite a few personal projects/ideas pop in my mind that I want to sincerely explore. The hardest part is always figuring out where to begin but I feel strongly about giving these ideas a chance.  Trusting the process of creativity can seem terrifying at first but usually something beautiful is learned through the experience.

Most will agree that fear, uncertainty, or even our own self can hold us back from realized dreams. Don't let anything discourage you! Let's go be GREAT together Xo

Photo Courtesy of Flickr.com/By WideEyedIlluminations

Why First Impressions Matter

When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.-Maya Angelou

I love great quotes but this one by renowned poet and author, Maya Angelo, strikes a huge chord with me. Anytime I meet a new person for the first time, I give them a chance to get to know them. Based on that first meeting, it sets the tone of where things go from here. If the introduction was a fail, then 9 times out of 10 that's a wrap for me but if it was ok, then we'll proceed accordingly.

At the end of the day, I've got to stay true to myself at all times and it wouldn't be genuine of me to pursue a relationship with someone if I didn't feel right about it. I CAN be cordial to anyone even float in the same airspace too but it doesn't mean I have to associate myself with them. Sorry not sorry!

First impressions are everything from the workplace to social life to the dating world. You can hit or miss in a matter of minutes so it's imperative you make the first time count. Even if things didn't go over well the first time, second chances are possible but I'll stick to Ms. Angelou's wisdom.

How important are first impressions to you?

Ban Bossy...Will you join the movement?

In honor of Women's Month, I'd like to share new and happening things that pertain to women news. Today, I stumbled upon the #BanBossy campaign that I thought was so great that I had to share in case you all haven't heard about it.

The campaign is being organized by Lean In and Girl Scouts of America which focuses on banishing the negative stigma that is attached to young girls who assert themselves as leaders. According to the Ban Bossy website, "when a little boy assert himself, he is deemed a leader but when a little girl does it, she's deemed bossy." See the negativity? The campaign aims to break this stigma and boost the self-esteem of young girls and women to embrace being a BOSS! The world needs more women leaders because we are still underrepresented in many facets of the world and it begins with our youth!

To help further the campaign's efforts, they've wrangled in some powerful women who lead the charge in banning the term "bossy." Check out this quick snippet:

For more information about the #BanBossy campaign, click here! Be apart of the change. 

College Taught Me...

"To find a way or make one"! Seriously, that is our school's motto and I continue to apply this in my everyday living. I've always had an ambitious spirit but my alma mater reinforced the importance of NEVER accepting NO as an answer. Even when doors (maybe even windows) continue to close in your face, you have to be steadfast in knowing that the gifts, talents and abilities that you have inside of you is all you need to get a "YES" answer.

Believe me I've had my fair share of hardships which I'm sure all of us can relate to but just because it is a "NO" to that way, it doesn't mean you won't find your OWN way. It's about pushing the envelope, breaking glass ceilings, moving outside of your comfort zone to make your way happen! Whether the world is ready for you or not, our time on Earth is precious so we have to make it count and sometimes it takes making a new way to spark change. The words will forever be inscribed on my heart because I find these words truly encouraging when I'm having a bad day or if I just need a boost of motivation. College taught me many other things as well but I'm not going to bore you guys with a dissertation! LOL

Thank you CAU! Xo

What has college taught you all?

P.S. This post means more to me than ever right now! I certainly needed to post this today considering I'm having a rough day but this is the boost I needed. :) So many positive confirmations are coming in different forms today and it reminds me that everything is going to be okay...trusting the process.

My Gripe with Black History Month

As much as I love Black History Month, I still have a slight gripe in how it is celebrated year to year. It is a time to honor the past and future Black figures as well as historical events, however, I think a lot of times many people (knowingly or unknowingly) tend to highlight the same people but what is more annoying is that some people think learning/teaching about slavery IS Black History Month. Slavery is a PART of Black History but it does not DEFINE Black History Month. 

Instead of teaching or showing videos about the treacherous life of slaves, there are plenty of documentaries/movies and unknown Black History facts/figures who don’t widely get promoted or recognized for their great achievements. For example, some people do not know a Black man created the first traffic light, a Black woman invented the ironing board, a Black man invented the refrigerator truck system, a Black man created the gas mask or a Black man invented the “Super Soaker.”  

The point is there is a great deal of Black History that is being overlooked everyday and we need to remedy this by bringing this information to the forefront for all to see and hear. There are plenty of African Americans in leadership roles in the corporate world as well as in the global community who don’t receive enough recognition for their achievements. Black History is happening everyday and I believe it's time we change in how we spend this month reflecting on its historical value to the world. 

With that said, it is going to be my personal mission this month to research and share Black History facts on my blog that highlight people, events, achievements that I did not know. 

What are your thoughts?

Why January is National Break Up Month

The other day I read a relationship article about how January has been coined the National Break Up Month for most couples. In particular, the article was referring to divorced couples as it is the month that many people want to start the New Year off on a fresh split. This actually makes perfect sense to me; however, I feel like an exit can happen at any time of the year in any relationship but something about New Year and new rules for love makes it easy to comprehend. Furthermore, it is also this time of year where people are itching to get out of their relationship prior to Valentine’s Day! 

Believe it or not, there are still some people who flee before this day because they realize A) They don’t really care about this person as much as they thought they did, B) They don’t want to buy any gifts, C) They don’t love their partner nor should they feel pressured too on V-day, D) They are just completely against the day so you might see a change in your partner’s mood.  Regardless of where you stand in your relationship, just remember to keep the lines of communication open!

Photo Courtesy of Flickr.com By Kris O'Neal

Goodbye 2013, Hello 2014

Time has certainly flown by in 2013! This year had to be one of the most challenging, game-changing years of my life so far but Lawd, I’m thankful for the journey and growth. If I had to describe this last year in one word, it would be the year of a CRAZY. Professionally and personally, it’s been an emotional roller coaster ride that could easily break the weak at heart---but I didn’t break, I just had to learn how to bend. The lesson I learned was to run to the THRONE and not the phone. My spiritual life has increased immensely and I realize while I’m far from perfect, I’m perfectly imperfect in his eyes and for that, He STILL loves me!   

While this hasn’t been my easiest year, there have certainly been some amazing highlights that have truly soothed the crazy ride.  I became a new auntie again (Hey to my babies, Meatball and Mir-Mir!), new big cousin (Hey baby, Troy!), and one of my most gratifying moments was when I became a GODMOTHER this year (Hey baby G!). I saw some new places, met some new faces, and reconnected with old friends, what a treat!

With all this good, there was some good-byes too, anddd I had to cut off a couple of people…BYE FELICIA! LOL Lessons were learned, true colors were revealed, and I haven’t looked back since yay me! I’m just trying to live a shade-free life…that’s all. Can I get an Amen?

My support system has been nothing short of AMAZING and I just want to thank all of my family and friends who have truly been down for the ride. To my family, thank you for loving me through it all. Even on my worst days, you remind me that my best days outweigh it all. Your overflow of love, support, prayers and encouragement continue to shape and mold me into the woman I am today. THANK YOU!! 

To my JBCrew, we’ve been A 1 since DAY ONE and thank God for bringing us all together. REAL FRIENDS are hard to come by but LIFETIME SISTER FRIENDS are rare! I am EXTRA LUCKY God blessed me with BOTH AT THE SAME TIME because this journey just wouldn’t have be the same without you all. THANK YOU for being there and loving me through every trip, every stumble and every fall LOL.

And on that note, I am so excited for what the future holds for me and mine, you know why? Because I KNOW WHO HOLDS IT! He does! Won’t He…you know the rest! *praise break*

Welcome, 2014! Let’s work! *twirls and throws glitter*

P.S. New posts coming next week! Just wait on it :)

Photo courtesy of Flickr.com/By Teresa

One minute impression...

One minute impressions may seem unrealistic but it happens everyday. Specifically in the dating world, one minute impressions are critical in the event you are interested in pursuing someone or meeting someone for the first time so bring your "A" game!

The reality is hell dates are real and the people we meet along our life paths don't always have our best interest at heart so it's imperative that we stay alert. So as a time saver, I've found the one minute impression strategy to be quite effective and most definitely an efficient way to prevent everyone's time from being wasted.

Whenever I meet someone, I tend to stick to my guns with the one impression strategy. I've always been pretty good at reading people or uncovering the BS so I thought I would share with you all my strategy.

In one minute of meeting someone new, you should be able to categorize this person in at least four categories:

1. Potential boyfriend/girlfriend (this can be tough to read sometimes but you KNOW)
2. Potential friend
3. Potential network contact
4. No connection

It may seem shallow but I think everyone does this in their own way! I've heard all types of crazy categories from my peers when they meet someone new. For the purpose of this post, I think these broad categories capture how everyone should classify someone within one minute of meeting them.

Call me shallow but appearance is everything! If the connection isn't there when your eyes meet, it's a possibility that things aren't going to take off. Just be mindful that presentation is everything and while you may not indicate how you think or feel at that very moment that person should definitely know by the end of the night where things stand.

Sometimes it takes two or three dates to be absolutely certain of where you stand with someone but don't count that little voice inside of you out. If your gut isn't with it, then strut but if you see stars, moons and clouds, then one can definitely dream.

Hope this makes your dating life a breeze!

Try Again...

I felt compelled to write a quick post about being persistent in something you want. No one likes to fail nor does anyone want to admit they fail at things but it doesn't have to define you. In fact, it should do the exact opposite and encourage you to try again! I once heard that there is "power in persistence" and if you believe within your heart that it is something you want, then don't stop till it's yours. Our time is precious on Earth and you have to make the most of every opportunity, no matter how big or small it is. If you live a life fearing to fail, then you'll never know your full potential. There is actually a lot of good in failing because it teaches us how to learn from the experience and to grow from it. That's what life is about! So if you are feeling kind of blue, I hope this post perks you up! Just know you are not alone :) Confront your fears, you can do it!

On a personal note, I was feeling like this today but the first song that came to mind was from the late R&B artist Aaliyah, "Try Again." Aaliyah is still one of my favorite singers and I hope this song uplifts you like it did me.

Dating a Friend’s Family Member

When it comes to dating, they say you should “cast out a wide net for options;” however, what do you do when that “net” happens to catch the eye of your friend’s family member (in this case a sibling)? This can be tricky and from personal experience it is best that you approach this situation with EXTREME caution. Whether you are the person pursuing or your friend’s family member is trying to pursue you, both of you should talk about it to see if this is something you both really want (if all you or they want is a fling, don’t risk it!).  

Surprisingly, it isn’t unusual for a sibling of your friend(s) to try to talk to you that level because you are around them often and over time, the attraction grows (it just happens sometimes!). In my own personal experience, I tried to be open to a situation like this but deep down inside I never felt comfortable with it and at the end of the day, I had to be true to myself and my feelings-- the spark just didn’t exist! 

The good thing is my situation didn’t get deep but I’ve heard worse stories of where people tried to date their friend’s sibling and till this day have lost not only a relationship but a friendship at the same damn time! The best thing you can do is to try to keep your friendship with your friend SEPARATE from your relationship with their family member.  As much as you want to confide in your friend about things, it could bring on stress for them because they may feel like they’re in the “middle” and that’s never a good feeling.

Now don’t get me wrong! I’ve also heard positive love connections from dating a friend’s sibling but that’s because deep down inside they BOTH wanted it and the intentions were pure & genuine.

Whatever you decide, just make sure it’s really what you want! If your gut tells you otherwise, listen to it. There is always other fish in the sea!

Photo Courtesy of Flickr.com/By Hathuyana

How Much Do You All Know About the World?

I came across an interesting article on CNN called, "Challenge Your Own Perceptions: Take the 'Ignorance' Test" and I think you all should try to take this quick quiz. Sadly, I scored a 2/10 (yes, I know I'm horrible!) even though, I do read the news daily (world news included time-to-time), it just goes to show you how "ignorant" we (American's that is!) can all still be when it comes to the rest of the world. Yup, Americans scored low to mediocre on this quick quiz so don't be surprised about your results.

Let me know how you all fared!